Tonight, I had my first panic attack since you threw me out of your life. The third one in two years. "Cool story, bro." I hate you. You don't even really give a fuck. "We can always be friends." I hate you. You fuck some other guy instead. "You deserve better than me." I hate you. You try to tell me you are worthless. "When you have lost everything, you are capable of anything." I hate you. You don't really know loss. You don't know what love is. You just want to be the shit and when you aren't getting your way, you spiral in self loathing and depression spouting out the same goddamn bullshit that every other pity party talking head screams. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

And I hope that I die first for it.